/spɪˈsɪfɪkʃ(ə)n/
Definition
A product or project document composed entirely of creative writing, wishful thinking, and parallel-universe assumptions. Typically authored by someone who hasn’t touched the actual system in geological time, and reviewed exclusively by people who say “we’ll refine it in delivery.”
Common Manifestations
- User stories that describe features violating known laws of physics.
- Acceptance criteria written in future tense and passive voice (“will be easily scalable”).
- Diagrams showing seamless integrations between tools that have never met.
- Stakeholders insisting it’s “just a north star,” despite it being attached to a sprint.
Usage Example
“According to the Specifiction, users will simply think about what they want and the app will do it. Simple.”
HR Guidance
Treat Specifictions as aspirational literature, not factual documentation. Reading them aloud may induce dizziness, scope creep, or spontaneous roadmap realignment. Recommended follow-up: a feasibility séance with Engineering and a bottle of red.