/siː.aɪ siː.diː/
Definition
An allegedly automated process designed to deliver software faster, but which primarily delivers chaos at scale. In theory, CI/CD ensures smooth, repeatable deployments; in practice, it ensures smooth, repeatable breakdowns—both technical and emotional.
Common Manifestations
- A “self-healing pipeline” that frequently tests this claim in production.
- Build notifications that function as the office’s ambient anxiety soundtrack.
- Engineers debating YAML indentation with religious intensity (Continuous Infighting).
- Deployments so automated no one actually knows how to stop them (Controlled Destruction).
- Post-incident Slack messages that begin, “Just curious—did anyone else’s pipeline…”
Usage Example
“Our CI/CD is so robust that every failure now happens in half the time.”
HR Guidance
CI/CD demonstrates the company’s commitment to innovation, accountability, and shared trauma. When in doubt, rebrand outages as “rapid learning cycles” and remind everyone that ‘continuous delivery’ includes continuously delivering excuses.