/ɡɪt ˈbleɪm.floʊ/
Definition
A collaborative version-control ritual dedicated to the art of attributing fault with surgical precision while avoiding all accountability. Inspired by Git Flow, but with fewer guardrails and far more finger-pointing.
Common Manifestations
- Every retrospective devolves into archaeology through commit history.
- Code reviewers using passive-aggressive language like “interesting approach.”
- Branches named after emotional states: fix-this-damn-thing, panic-patch, please-work.
- Engineers explaining, “I only changed one line,” moments before production collapses.
- Merge conflicts resolved through Slack arguments, not logic.
Usage Example
“After the outage, we entered Git Blameflow—three engineers, twenty commits, and zero survivors.”
HR Guidance
Git Blameflow is an important team-building exercise in humility and denial. Encourage participants to focus on “learning opportunities,” not “who merged at 4:59 p.m.”
Facilitated debriefs may include soothing phrases such as “We’re all in this branch together.”