Managerial Alchemy (noun)

/ˈmænɪdʒɪərɪəl ˈælkəmi/

Definition

The mystical corporate art of transmuting confusion into “alignment” using only slide decks, vague metaphors, and a confident tone. Practitioners believe that by saying “strategy” often enough, PowerPoint will become reality

Common Manifestations

  • Meetings opened with “Let’s zoom out” and closed with “We’ll circle back.”
  • OKRs materializing without measurable outcomes.
  • Replacing the word problem with opportunity to create the illusion of progress.
  • Workshops where sticky notes outnumber participants.

Usage Example

“We didn’t solve anything, but after two days of Managerial Alchemy, morale is up 12%.”

HR Guidance

Managerial Alchemy should be practiced in moderation. Overuse can lead to strategic hallucinations and mission drift. Remind leaders that “alignment” isn’t a deliverable.